Behold the tombstone of my great-great grandfather, Jabez M. Loyd. I wish he could come back for a brief visit this Halloween and help solve some more of our family mysteries. I've always loved old cemeteries, even before I got into genealogy. There's no place like a graveyard for a PICNIC, for example.
Below are some of my favorite funny epitaphs. My school classes used to draw a variety of tombstones on large drawing paper, then write their own funny epitaphs. I've seen some of these at Ripley's museums, in books, and so on. Some of them have become universally known, and a few of them are authentic (not many)!
**********
I told you I was sick.
**********
Owen Moore
Gone away,
Owin’ more
Than he could pay.
**********
Here lies the body
Of Fearsome Frank,
Who often bet
He could rob any bank,
And bragged he had
Never lost a bet. . .
Yet.
**********
Here lies Lester Moore
Took three slugs from a .44
No Les
No more.
**********
Here lies the body
Of Jonathan Pound
Who was lost at sea
And never found.
**********
Here lies
Shirley Schiff,
Chased a frisbee
Off a cliff.
**********
(This one is reserved for my tombstone—but not right away!)
“I GOT IT AT A YARD SALE”
I told you I was sick.
**********
Owen Moore
Gone away,
Owin’ more
Than he could pay.
**********
Here lies the body
Of Fearsome Frank,
Who often bet
He could rob any bank,
And bragged he had
Never lost a bet. . .
Yet.
**********
Here lies Lester Moore
Took three slugs from a .44
No Les
No more.
**********
Here lies the body
Of Jonathan Pound
Who was lost at sea
And never found.
**********
Here lies
Shirley Schiff,
Chased a frisbee
Off a cliff.
**********
(This one is reserved for my tombstone—but not right away!)
“I GOT IT AT A YARD SALE”
Writing funny epitaphs is as easy as writing "Roses are red, Violets are blue" rhymes. Just think of an unusual way to meet one's demise, then supply a rhyming name. Let me know what you come up with.
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