The skeleton rattled his bones and said, "With all this racket, how do you expect me to find my car keys?"
Invisible man replied,"Car keys? I can't even find my pocket!"
The skeleton rattled his bones and said,
- "Now wait a minute. I know I counted 206 this morning. Where's my collarbone?"
- "Now what good did it do me to drink all that milk?"
- "Hey, I just played the first line of 'Chopsticks' on my ribcage!"
- "Well, I'd better get to that yard sale before all the old rags are gone."
- "I'm so lonely. If I hadn't killed those archaeologists we could have played rummy."
- "I better watch out or somebody might try to recycle me."
- "Sometimes I just want to unwrap myself, but I'm scared my guts will fall out."
Dracula sat up in his coffin and said,
- "That daylight saving time was murder!"
- "Ugh! What a nightmare. I dreamed all the blood tasted like Elmer's glue."
- "Hey, it's the weekend. I don't have to go to work!"
- "Ah, this is just the thing to wash down that peanut butter and jugular sandwich."
- "Urp. . . . That dadburn carbonated blood gives me heartburn."
- "Hey! This is tomato juice! Who's the wise guy?"
- "I should have kept this in the refrigerator. It's already starting to clot."
- "Another Saturday night, and me without a date."
- "Something's wrong with our satellite, Wolfman. Barney looks all yellow."
- "Can't wait to see Oprah today-- 'Monsters with broken hearts.'"
I know they're awful, but Halloween's almost over. If you have five minutes (which I doubt) add your own monster quote to my comments section.
2 comments:
As the Mummy stood up to stretch he said, "If I don't do my yoga first thing I just unravel."
Dracula sat up in his coffin and said, "All the noises while I slept were driving me batty!"
I know they're awful, but I gave it my all!
I love 'em, Amanda. They're every bit as funny as the ones you wrote back in second grade! (Still got 'em, don't you?)
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