Christmas Quotations II

Here we go again. Hope these provide some laughs or smiles.

As the elves stuffed Santa's sack with toys, one of them said,

• "All these toys, and all we get is lousy candy canes."
  
• "He's got everything but the kitchen sink in here. Oh, here it is, too!"


• "I wonder if I'd get in much trouble if I hid in this Barbie Dream House."
  
• "I wonder if Mr. Loyd's class is going to write about me again this year."
  
• "Has Santa ever considered using UPS to deliver all this junk?"
  
• "Hey, I remember the day I made this Nintendo. It was the same day Mrs. Claus made tacos for supper."
  
• "Uh-oh. We packed it too tight. All the Tickle-me-Elmo's just started shaking and quaking."
  
• "I wonder who will get this Furby that we taught Eskimo language.

As Rudolph got ready to guide Santa's sleigh, he said,

• "Let's see, I turn left at Scotland. . . or is it right? Oh, brother."
  
• "I'm so nervous. People don't realize how much pressure it is to remember where every boy and girl lives."
  
• "Hope you don't mind, Santa. I thought I'd try a blue light in my nose this year. When those airplanes see a blue light behind 'em, they'll pull over!"
  
• "I'm not so wild about this new 'clap-on' switch for my nose. For one thing, I can't clap!"
  
• "Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to have a pierced nose, but I'm scared of what Santa would say."
  
• "Remember guys, no tail-gating. Those antlers are sharp."
  
• "I bet people would pay a lot for my autograph. Now, how do you hold a pencil with a hoof?"
  
• "Oh brother. That Blitzen thought he could take my place. But he needed an extension cord for his light bulb."

When Mrs. Claus waved goodbye (God be with ye) she called,

• "Say 'Hi' to my Aunt Gertrude in Miami."
  
• "If you loved me you'd take me along for the ride."
  
• "Remember, Nick, the list of bad kids is in your left front pocket."
  
• "Nick, don't forget to pick up a pound of bacon and some eggs at the Piggly Wiggly."
  
• "I may not be home when you get back-- there's a big bingo game down in Greenland tonight."

When Frosty the Snowman saw Santa Claus he said,

• "I hope you brought that new silk hat and scarf I ordered."


• "Hey, whatcha say we get together for a few games of poker after you finish your rounds?"


• "I sure could use some electric socks. I think. . . ."
  
• "I hope you packed something special for all the Masters of Multiplication. As for me, I'm scared I'd melt if I tried burning my times card."
  
• "Hey, Nick. Stop back by later. Old Man Winter and Jack Frost challenged us to hockey at the 'pole.'"
  
• "Hey, old man. Can you give me a lift? I ran my snowmobile into a big mama pine tree!"
  
• "I once had a friend that wore a red suit like that. Poor fella melted plumb away-- just like that!"
  
• "I'd love to go along, but I'm afraid I'd melt in Australia."
  
• "Hey chubby, that electric blanket you left me last year was not one bit funny!"
  
• "Hey Santa, I'm tired of being called Frosty. How do you think Fred would sound?"
  
• "Santa, I can't feel anything in my arms. ACK! They're gone! Somebody swiped my stupid sticks!"

BONUS QUOTES:

Vixen, while pondering the great questions of life, thought, "I wonder what I'd be doing right now if I had been born as a giraffe."

Santa, suffering from his seasonal stress, mumbled incoherently, "Red and white, red and white, why couldn't I have chosen blue and yellow?!"

Mrs. Claus stood under the mistletoe and called, "Old man, get yourself in here right now or I'm gonna kiss Prancer instead!"

Merry Christmas, Everybody!