Thanksgiving II

Today it's time for a humorous look at Thanksgiving, based on my old school "quotations" activity. Here goes:

As the pilgrim lifted his knife to carve the turkey he said,

• "Think happy thoughts, Tom."


• "I'm sorry our friendship has to end like this."


• "I know what'd be cool. I'll carve it in the shape of Governor Bradford's face."


• "Well, it ain't honey-baked ham, but it'll have to do."


• "I just can't do it! Well . . . yes, I can.
  

When the pilgrim got off the Mayflower he sighed,

• "Doggone it, I forgot to bring my tennis racket."


• "Boy I'm beat. Must be jet lag."


• "If I'd just saved my money I could've come over first class on the Titanic."

The Indian (Native American) stepped up to the pilgrim and said,

• "Hmm . . . you folks have reservations? Ha, ha, I don't think so. Us Injuns got reservations!"


• "Chief Massasoit send me to buy 25 of them funny hats for big picnic Thursday."


• "Chief Massasoit sends greeting to white men. Also, him want to know if you join us for big poker game Friday."


• "You want two tickets to Braves game, cheap?"


• "Say, you from England, right? You know my cousin Bernie?"

The turkey watched the Pilgrims start a fire and said,

• "Now why do they need to do that? It feels perfectly comfortable in here to me."


• "Hmm . . . let's see . . .smoke, fire, big pot, carving knife . . . let me outta here!"


• "I sure hope they follow those Indians's advice and try boiled dog!"


• "Hmm . . . must be making bean soup for Thanksgiving."


• "Hey, man, didn't your third grade teacher say never to play with matches?!"

The pilgrim children crept up on the turkey and whispered

• "If we're able to catch him, maybe we're good enough to be on 'Survivor'."


• "Wow, he looks like a 30 pounder. Better use three sticks of dynamite."


• "No kidding, we can teach him to roll over, play dead, fetch sticks, and bring in the paper."
  
• "Now remember, we're not really gonna cook him, just give him a good scare. Get your water pistols ready."
• "It's for his own good. We've got to kidnap him and hide him somewhere till Turkey Day is over!"
  
• HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Seven more days, but only FOUR school days!